The Hardest Easiest Solutions

Life comes in waves. Sometimes you’re peacefully floating on tube like a lazy river, and other times you’re gripping the sides of a rickety boat with one oar, no map, and a lot of incoming water. Naturally, when you’re scrambling to stay afloat, the first things tossed overboard are the classics: eating, sleeping, and exercising.

Honestly, I’m not even sure why I started with a boat metaphor… but we’re done now. Consider it docked. Anchored. Sunk? Whatever. Moving on.

For years, everyone from my doctor to that one overly intense wellness influencer has hammered it home: Make time for sleep. Make time to eat real food. Move your body. I believe them! I’ve said the same thing to other people like I’m some kind of broccoli-fueled prophet. And yet here I am, abandoning the holy trinity of survival.

It’s 10pm. I’m typing this. I’m tired. I should sleep. But I’m also behind because I made my first proper meal of the day at 9pm. My other culinary achievements include a Fiber One bar at 10am and some sad, air-fried leftover pizza around 2pm that basically ambushed me when I opened the fridge.

How do we get here? Oh, the usual:

I wake up just late (8:45am) enough to throw everything off. But it’s cool—I’ll recalibrate. Shower. Post for Licks. Make a video. THEN eat.

Wait. That HOA email needs a reply.

Okay fine, I’ll grab the Fiber One and power up the laptop.

Oh right, I should probably start that speech too—get some thoughts going. A little momentum never hurt.

Boom. It’s 2pm. I should probably eat something before I start chewing on my to-do list. Open the fridge. Pizza bag yeets itself at me. So… problem solved?

Cue one “quick” episode of Hacks while I “strategically regroup.”

Plan for the rest of the day: Finish Licks stuff, walk Henry, make dinner, deal with fantasy football, and maaaybe sleep.

Then I start researching Argentina vs. Brazil (okay, but this was actually work that had to be done), look up, and—yep—meeting time.

Naturally, I get hit with another HOA email mid-meeting. The kind that is so obviously going to hijack an hour or so I can’t help but shiver as my soul leaves my body.

Fast-forward to me pushing Henry out the door at 8:30pm like a tiny furry tornado, then finally making dinner after 9.

As you can imagine, somewhere in that whirlwind, food was skipped, sleep was neglected, and exercise was straight-up ghosted.

And if the universe is feeling spicy, we might get an encore tomorrow!