Cash in a Cashless World
There’s something special about money—it’s a bit hard to describe. A collectible? No, that’s not quite it. A novelty! Yes, a novelty. An antique. Something your grandparents might yank out of their back pocket like a magic trick at Thanksgiving, drawing awe and excitement from someone who just took the training wheels off their bike.
Cash is nostalgic, sure. But let’s be real: we live in a tap-to-pay, face-scan-your-wallet, Venmo-me-later world. So why—why—are there still places clinging to cash like it’s a family heirloom?
Honestly, this rarely happens at home. Seattle runs on code and caffeine. We haven’t traded goats for goods since, like, 1997. But the moment I touch down on the East Coast, it’s like I’ve stepped into a time machine. New York? Cash only. Philly? Nearly withheld a cheesesteak from me because I dared to live in 2025, not the Revolutionary War era. Maybe it’s a regional thing? A love letter to "ye olde days" when the Founding Fathers paid with silver coins and powdered wigs were the height of fashion?
Either way—I don’t carry a wallet. Why would I?
They're basically business card graveyards now. And no offense, but if someone hands me a business card in 2025, I’m assuming it’s attached to a retirment party invite. That’s what LinkedIn is for, my friend.
Gift cards? App.
Insurance? App.
ID and credit cards? Stuck neatly to the back of my phone like a responsible adult.
So what else could I possibly need? Oh yeah. Cash. Because your donut shop wants to party like it’s 1999.
Is it about credit card fees? Fine, just tell me. Slap on the 3%—my print shop does it, and we move on with our lives. You think I care about a few extra cents? Okay, I do, but not as much as I care about not wandering aimlessly around looking for an ATM that charges me four bucks for the pleasure of accessing my own money just so I can maybe enjoy your artisanal grilled cheese.
Seriously—if your business is still cash only in this economy, I’m out. Like, physically out the door. There is not a single item, service, or experience that is so life-altering I’ll go on a cash quest to acquire it. “ATM’s just around the corner,” you say? Cool. So is literally another place that takes a card, Apple Pay, Venmo, or, heck, a telepathic transaction at this point.
So no—don’t take me to a cash-only spot unless you plan to spot me. Or better yet, let’s go somewhere with electricity, running water, and a little thing called modern payment processing.