Saved by the Lunch ‘n Learn

If you thought yesterday’s typhoon was a one-hit wonder, think again. This morning came back swinging like it was up for a Grammy. I overslept, hadn't unpacked, and was already three tasks behind before the clock even flirted with 8am. A couple quick attempts at to salvage the day—a rogue email here, a social post there—and then I gave the pug and the cat a few ceremonial scratches before tossing myself down the stairs.

Laptop? Packed. Fiber bars? Grabbed. Iced coffee? Brewing. And then… wait. LUNCH?! The horror.

Now, in a moment of sheer heroism (or hunger-induced desperation), I’d braved the treacherous terrain of Trader Joe’s. For context: my wife—aka the glue that keeps my chaos from crumbling—had been away. And me? I’d been flailing. Honestly, I was barely surviving. But I rallied, marched myself to the grocery store, and stocked up like a man with a plan… or so I thought.

I remembered we’d looted Costco for sandwich meat. Bread was a certainty. Boom. Lunch? Handled. No need to snag at TJs.

Except. EXCEPT. In my meticulous planning, I’d forgotten every other sandwich ingredient that makes a sandwich. No cheese, no condiments, not even a pickle to whisper flavor into the void. Just turkey. On bread. Dry. Soul-crushing.

I scanned the fridge: yogurt, eggs, a raw steak I couldddddd cook in the microwave but let’s be serious, a rogue Mountain Dew, and leftovers that had definitely passed the point of no return. I was doomed. Turkey and bread it was. Wallow.

And then, as if the universe was toying with me, I got stuck behind an active garbage truck mere blocks from the office. Inches from freedom, I sat… trapped… marinating in the disappointment of my sad lunch waiting ahead.

But then.

As I shuffled into the office, mentally prepping myself for this culinary betrayal, I glanced up at the screen in the meeting room. There, like a beacon from the heavens:

“Lunch & Learn | 12:30–1:30pm”

I dropped to my knees and cried.

I fell to my knees and cried. Life is good.