The Cart Thief
There’s a long list of terrible types of people in this world. Drivers who park their car over the line essentially claiming two spots. The people who watch videos on full blast, raw dog no headphones in public. Coworkers that replies all to a companywide email. The nasties that don’t wash their hands in the bathroom - especially public bathrooms! The window or aisle passenger that tries to claim the middle person’s armrest. The viewers who use their phone at the movie theater. I could go on with the pretty standard list of terrible people in our society. Unfortunately, I have a new type of person to the naughty list.
I’ve been pretty open about my distain for grocery shopping. There’s likely some deep psychological reason a therapist needs to help me uncover. The thought of having to go to the store gets my blood boiling. All the prep that goes into it. And then actually going…that’s an entirely different nightmare. If Jigsaw was creating a puzzle to torture me with, it would be set in a grocery store.
Okay, so background has been set.
We’re at Whole Foods. I’m battling internal demons. We’re bring the cart to a hault near the seafood counter.
Chantel goes up to ask for…I’d assume some kind of seafood — shrimp, salmon? Okay, what should I do. Mhmm the meat counter.
I scurry off to get some pork chops. I patiently wait tryna tell myself grocery shopping can be fun if you don’t think about the cost or spiral tryna plan a weeks worth of meals since we entered the dungeon with no action plan. Just vibes.
As I walk back to where I left Chantel, she stands there with hands full of brown paper wrapping.
“Someone stole our cart”
……
……
……
I peak over the bananas. I turn around and glance down an aisle.
……
……
“Our cart is gone” she exclaimed.
…..
…..
My brain was malfunctioning.
I had absolutely zero clue how to react.
…..
…..
She sighs, “I’ll go get another cart”
Finally, I respond “wait….wtf….someone actually stole our cart”
“Yeahhhh. It’s gone.”
Congratulations, Cart Thief. I can’t call 9-1-1 on you. It’s the perfect crime. But what in the actual FUCK!!! Who steals another person’s cart. This is our city, our community, our neighborhood. We’re supposed to be on the same team.
There’s been countless number of announcements and changes to our country in the last handful of weeks. Plenty of people shouting that the sky is falling. I’ve been tryna stay postive during these times.
But we might be screwed.
IF there was ever a sign that our society was about to collapse, it’s stealing someone’s cart. At that point, no basic foundational societal structures are left.