Lucky Charms Mallows Ranked
I’m a very festive person. I go all in on holidays…at least the holidays in the back half of the year. I’ll admit I’ve slacked a bit on Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and Easter since I graduated college. This is an attempt to get back some of that holiday spirit. Now, I could have gone in several directions here. I could have talked about Dublin and splitting the G, debate Boston or Chicago being the better place to celebrate St. Patty’s Day. Nope, my brain took a trip to the cereal bowl.
#8 Heart Charm
Maybe because Valentine’s Day doesn’t have its own dedicated cereal, it felt the need to crash the Lucky Charms party. But let’s be honest, this heart just doesn’t belong. It’s the least exciting shape, and if they stopped adding it in, I might even be more inclined to buy a box. Ooof, that was perhaps a bit harsh… Maybe I do need a heart. But in a cereal packed with magical, whimsical shapes, this just feels uninspired.
#7 Red Balloon Charm
This gives me major Pennywise vibes. I get it, it rounds out the little jingle (“red balloons!”), but is that really a reason to keep it? If we’re aiming for truly lucky charms, wouldn’t a pot of gold make way more sense? Just picture it: a shimmering, golden marshmallow, perfectly on theme. But no, we get a spooky red balloon instead. A missed opportunity, to say the least.
#6 Clover Charm
This should have been a top-tier charm. A four-leaf clover is one of the most universally recognized symbols of luck! But somehow, they managed to butcher it. The extra green randomness surrounding it makes it look messy and unrefined, when it should be sleek and iconic. Less is more, people! A wasted opportunity for greatness.
#5 Horseshoe Charm
Now we’re talking. The horseshoe at least sticks with the theme, and it’s a classic symbol of luck. But—and I know this contradicts what I just said about the clover—this one might be too simple. Sometimes it looks more like a vague, mono-colored blob than an actual horseshoe. A little extra definition could take this one to the next level.
#4 Star Charm
A shooting star? Definitely lucky. The concept is solid, but the execution? A little meh. Sometimes it’s hard to tell it’s actually a shooting star, which sort of defeats the purpose. If they refined the shape a bit more, this could be an elite charm.
#3 Blue Moon Charm
I have no idea how a blue moon fits into the theme of luck, but you know what? I don’t care. The color is great, the shape is satisfying, and it’s got a good marshmallow-to-cereal ratio. It’s just one of those things that works, even if it doesn’t totally make sense. A strong, unexpected contender.
#2 Unicorn Charm
This one is just cool. I have no idea when it was added, because they definitely didn’t have this back when I was a Lucky Charms regular, and I don’t recall it in the jingle (though I’ve retained about 70% of that masterpiece). Regardless, it’s got a unique shape, fun colors, and an overall vibe that screams “special.” Bonus points for adding a little magic to the mix.
#1 Rainbow Charm
The gold standard of Lucky Charms marshmallows. It’s got the most color, it leads you straight to the pot of gold, and the shape is instantly recognizable. This is what a top-tier cereal marshmallow should be. No notes. Absolute perfection.