Finished Yogurt

Against all odds and natural laws, we did it. We finished the tub of yogurt. Why is this a big deal? Because I’m fairly certain this has never once happened in the history of The Bag Tag household. Maybe you, Taggie, have accomplished such feats before, but here? This is uncharted territory. A new era. A yogurt milestone. How it took this long, I have no idea.

Here is the truth. Every time I return from the grocery store, riding high on dreams of my healthier, glowier, yogurt-fueled self, that excitement fizzles almost immediately. Reality taps me on the shoulder and reminds me that I am still me. Yogurt cannot fix that.

I muster up the strength to make a bowl. First dive into the fresh tub? Not bad. I get fancy with it. Chia seeds, flaxseed, raspberries, honey, oats, granola. I become a star chef, stirring it all together like I am auditioning for a cooking show. I eat it. We are about ten percent into the tub. Spirits are high.

And then the downfall. Opening the tub the second time reveals a sad swamp of murky water pooling on top. Sure, it is technically edible, but one glance and my appetite is now sprinting toward the chips sitting on the counter.

It gets worse. Stirring the yogurt creates this awful sloshing sound that I would not wish on my worst enemy. It is wet, it is gloopy, and it is haunting.

Every time I pop the lid, the top layer and sides dry into a crusty film that threatens to contaminate the precious good yogurt underneath. A fight for survival. And with every passing day, the poor tub drifts deeper into fridge exile, eventually growing its own science experiment.

All of this is making me queasy just writing about it. Vegas virus still has me in its claws and yogurt trauma is not helping.

But here’s the plot twist. We finished the tub. Completely. I went to make a bowl this morning and there was nothing left. I was stunned. Speechless. Unprepared. Truly never thought I would see the day.

Was it a fluke? Have we evolved into a yogurt household? Only time will tell.

Next mission: finishing all the bananas before they turn brown and Chantel forces me to throw them away. Stay tuned.