Near Death Experience

You know those days where your vibe’s just… off? Like your brain’s buffering and your soul accidentally clicked the wrong playlist? Yeah, it was one of those. I couldn’t crack the mood code—until my wonderful wife did, like some sort of emotional locksmith. With the Sunday Scaries slowly retreating and the energy pendulum swinging upward, we decided to take Henry on his evening walk. Spirits high, crocs on—what could go wrong?

Well, my left foot had other plans.

Let’s talk about Crocs for a second. I’m a known Croc stan. Just last week, I ran trivia at work with a whole round dedicated to them. I even admitted—loud and proud—that I was wearing them in the office. That is, until my boss caught me mid-sock with my Croc off, trying to sneak a pic for the team chat. Peak vulnerability.

Anyway, back to the scene. Mid-walk, something felt off in the left Croc. Classic rogue pebble, I figured. So, I kicked the croc ahead, shake, slipped it back on.

Another few steps. Still stabbing me. Maybe it’s clinging to the bottom of my sock? Checked. Nope. Nothing there but pain.

Now I’m getting suspicious. I peer into the Croc and—what is that? Is that… glass? I go to pull it out and this thing does not budge. Flip the shoe over and boom—THUMBTACK. A whole tack! Lodged in my Croc like it paid rent.

Cue mini panic: Did it go through?! Is this how I die? Am I now Patient Zero for a new disease?

Was this my final destination moment? Just like the nail that killed Chantel’s car tire?

We finally make it home—I kick off the Croc, rip off the sock in a dramatic reveal… and, miracle of miracles, no puncture.

Crisis averted. Foot intact.

I live to Croc another day.