I Want to Stay at the White Lotus
I’m trying to process what Mike White just put us through. He dragged us around all season. He made us uncomfortable. And…he left some low hanging fruit in the plot (lololol see what I did there). Yet, I couldn’t help but think, I’d love to stay at a White Lotus. Oh, and if you think season 3 and or its finale were mid, your opinions are parallel with Kate’s beliefs! Let’s unpack the season and where the characters go from here…
And yes—obviously—I know every season ends with a dead body. That’s not a spoiler, that’s the brand.
But do I care? No. I’ve stayed in $12/night hostel in Iceland in a shared room with 12 other men where I was convinced the dude below me was a future shooter. If I can survive that, I can survive the White Lotus. At least at the White Lotus, the murder comes with room service and a sea view.
Let me be clear: I’m not trying to "relax." I’m trying to further the plot.
Until then, I’ll be manifesting my White Lotus fantasy the way Chelsea was trying to manifest true love with Rick.
Spoilers Ahead
My White Lotus Season 3 reaction:
Okay but seriously, what the FRICK, Mike White!!! Tim really spent the entire season collecting his family’s dark little confessions like Thanos collecting Infinity Stones and wipe them out with poised pina coladas?! Belinda finally meets a good guy, and the second she gets her money, she Tanya’s him?? STABBED. IN. THE. BACK. Dirtyyy!! And then… AND THEN… as we all called it, that crusty old nut sack turns out to be Rick’s dad, and of course, just as we feared, you kill Chelsea?? I’m not mad it was predictable— I’m mad it still hit. Rick had his peace! He had love! And he chose vengeance. And Lochlan?! First you tease his death, then you let him live just so Tim doesn’t have to live with the guilt? RUDE.
What’s next for the characters:
Whew…so much chaos, so many loose ends, and my brain feels clogged by those Pina Coladas. But fear not! I’m here to drop a speedy recap and then serve up my extremely unsolicited (but obviously expert) predictions on where these beautifully messy characters are headed next.
The Ratliffs
Timothy Ratliff:
Prediction: He gets divorced and ends up with a belt in prison
Lochlan Ratliff:
Prediction: He goes to college on the West Coast and disowns his family
Saxon Ratliff:
Prediction: He begins a consulting firm set around ethical insider trading…yes, I meant what I said
Piper Ratliff:
Prediction: Marries a wealthy man and becomes her mother
Victoria Ratliff:
Prediction: Finds a new southern husband who is obviously loaded
Gaitok & Mook
Prediction: Get married, have two kids, and wish for a divorce before their 10th anniversary but die un-happy together of old age
Belinda & Zion
Prediction: Get addicted to the finer things and start to blackmail Greg/Gary
Laurie, Jaclyn, and Kate (the “Blonde Blob”)
Prediction: They experience the exact same vacation in Jamaica next year packed full of gossip, drama, hate, & resentment
Greg
Prediction: He moves to another White Lotus hotel to hide from Belinda & Zion’s blackmail. He hires a hitman to take them out
In the end….
Innocence is Destroyed: Both literally (Lochlan nearly dies, Chelsea is killed) and symbolically (Gaitok, Belinda).
Wealth Corrupts: Whether through desperation (Tim), manipulation (Gary), or new money (Belinda), everyone is touched by it.
No True Enlightenment: The Westerners who seek spiritual growth in Thailand leave just as broken—or worse.
Moral Ambiguity: No one is purely good or evil, just messy, self-interested, or reactive.
The Police Are Missing: Murders happen, and guests still catch their boats. White Lotus remains lawless.
Another fantastic season accompanied with a great theme song! Can’t wait for the next adventure!