Adventure to Nowhere
Chantel woke up one day last week with this crazy, inexplicable urge to go back to the gym. I wasn’t complaining- truthfully, I did really need to get back there and make my recently un-paused (against my desire) gym membership worth the price.
But then, she suggested we take a class. A class! At 8AM. On a Saturday….sure, why the heck not. I will count it as training for grandmothers, and the best part is, I don’t have to run! HA
Fast forward to Saturday: we burst into the spin studio, late and stressed, fumbling with bike seats like it was an escape room challenge. The instructor was already mid-warmup, shouting motivational blabber. I accepted defeat and just mounted the bike as-is. Chantel abandoned me for another row entirely.
Not our finest start. But we pedaled on.
About ten minutes in, our overly peppy instructor hits us with a choice: “You can either ride up the hill... or go around it!”
He says around like it’s some kind of scenic retirement stroll. Please. I’m already on this thing and dripping a lil bit. Obviously, we’re climbing that hill.
Less than halfway through this magical hill, as my knees are throbbing, my butt is bruised from the seat, the instructor kindly points out we choose to go up the hill when we’re riding bikes to nowhere.
How does it feel to adveture to nowhere. Your bikes are nailed to the ground, your scenary isn’t changing.
Excuse you.
If I had any oxygen left, I might’ve clapped back with a sir, my mind is always going somewhere. I am constantly on an adventure. Mentally, I’m in twelve dimensions. You want multiverse? Metaverse? I’m already on season four of Thoughts Gone Wild.
Now I know you’re on the edge of your seat to know where my mind went. Well, welcome aboard:
First, a forensic analysis of the seat height on the bike in front of me. Where did I go wrong? Who hurt me?
Then, a deep strategy sesh about what we’d buy at Trader Joe’s... and which Trader Joe’s. This is not a drill.
Followed by a whirlwind brainstorm for the Travel Planner service tied to my bag tag idea. I flew too close to the sun on that one, had to retreat and get back to step one: the Trip Scenario Guide.
And finally, food. Sweet, beautiful food. But alas, it was not an egg day. Even the thought of eggs made me my stomach swirl.
I could sit in one place for eight hours and travel the entire galaxy in my head—hiking Kilimanjaro, day 3 flashback. No book. No WiFi. No distractions. Just vibes and mental adventures.
Eventually, we finished the ride—legs jello, spirit spinning, mind thoroughly exhausted.
And so ended our grand adventure to…everywhere.